In life things can be going along swimmingly and then out of nowhere something puts you off balance, some might call it a surprise while others might call it a test.
Tonight I went to a tapas bar for dinner. The place was busy so I had to wait to be seated, I figured it was probably worth waiting for especially since it had been recommended by one of the girls working in the hostel. Eventually I was placed at a seat around the bar. On my right side was a young couple, on my left a guy maybe mid-thirties in age and two young ladies.
The guy on my left began making conversation, commenting that this place is the best place in town to meet young ladies. He then made out as if he didn’t know the two ladies sitting next to him, suggesting that I swap seats with one of them so, as he said, we could both meet someone new. Slightly embarrassed I jokingly shrugged the comment off. My new friend seemed to come to this place a lot so I asked him for recommendations from the menu, as you do. I ordered some lamb cutlets as he had recommended, and a beer from the tap. He then said, “I’m leaving in 10 minutes so have whatever you want, tonight is on me.” I didn’t take this comment too seriously.
Conversation progressed; he asked me what I did. I explained that I was a landscape architect to which he replied by questioning whether it was a good idea to come to another country with highly educated people and expect to get a job. You could see him starting to think, “Usually I know someone in an area so I can give a person a head start, but this one is harder”. “My brother has some cafes, but that’s no good. You look like a genuine person ... so I’d like to help you ... but you could be a criminal.” Such shifting tones in conversation made me have to try to work out what to take seriously and what was meant as sarcasm. This was made difficult by another comment he had made earlier to one of the girls next to him not to talk to strangers (referring to the couple she was sitting next to), or give them any information as they might be a criminal.
He lifted the tone by telling me that he was impressed by my willingness to go out and travel the world alone, then asked if I was staying in a hotel. I replied, “No, in a hostel” and then explained the system of shared dorms and their typical costs. He was also interested to know how much I was spending each day while travelling ... perhaps this was a calculated prelude to his next question, “Wouldn’t you like to be able to visit a place and be able to do whatever you wanted to do and not worry how much it cost?” My reply was an honest one, “I’m happy ... and you can be creative about the ways you spend your time.”
After asking questions about what I was doing, I asked him what he did, to which he replied “I’m a criminal.” Still not knowing whether to take his response seriously I listened as he began to unveil his own life, “Since the age of 16 I’m lived the same way, I’ve had disco-techs and cafe’s ... I’m now trying to sell my disco-tech and house in Spain but now isn’t a good time ... I have already learnt that money doesn’t make you happy ... I’d love to have an interest in something in particular [this was his response to an earlier discussion of my niche interest] but it has never happened.” Then he came out and said that the girl on the right was his Filipino au pair, and the other, his 21-yr-old girlfriend whilst the wife of his four kids lives in Scotland.” “Sounds like a complicated life”, I responded. “No, it’s easy for me, staying in a hostel and walking into a shower with someone else’s hair on the ground is complicated to me.”
Our verbal exchange slowed as my food was served but this encounter was not all over. Not long before he left he poured his opare’s unfinished drink into his own glass, then commented that it tasted strange because of the “pill”, quickly but calmly correcting that to “lemon”. Who knows if I heard correctly but it seemed possible when considering the world this stranger lives his life within. When my acquaintance did leave he said, “I hope you find what it is you have come to find.” I thanked him then he walked out shaking the hands of the owner, obviously a long-standing relationship.
Astounded by this encounter I ordered another dish and another beer. Then it came time to pay the bill. I was pretty sure that the guy hadn’t paid for me but wasn’t 100% sure. The bill came, it was only for the second dish and beer, so he had paid ... I wasn’t surprised but felt a little strange accepting something from a stranger, especially this stranger. The guy was friendly and polite, and he did just pay for part of my dinner but the experience took me out of my own world. It was a reminder that that way I have chosen to live my life IS that, a choice. And different people choose different paths. Then came a realisation (or reminder), that the things I worry about on a daily basis, like whether a product is Fair-Trade or Organic or Local.... are not things that most people even consider. This encounter forced me to take a broader view and in doing so disoriented me because it took me out of my everyday world, and without that framework I found myself trying to cling to something to restore my sense of normality. So much so that I came back to the hostel and jumped on Youtube to hear my favourite song, just to help me relax.
I started to replay the encounter in my mind. There were points which could have taken me in a different direction. If I had moved seats I could have ended up talking to one of these girls (being played) and who knows what else. If I had of begun to doubt my chances to get work as a landscape architect and asked him if he knew anyone looking for a worker, I could have been lured into a underground scene – selling drugs? If I had expressed discontent with not having enough money to “do my travelling” he could have offered a “good” way to make money? At the time, I was being very genuine as I knew that being honest was the best way to keep out of trouble, not that I ever felt threatened by this softly-spoken acquaintance. Maybe part of me was naive in not reading the situation better, then I kind of feel like being myself made me completely incorruptible. This encounter came after an already tumultuous day.
During the afternoon I had visited Anne Frank’s House, which is a face-to-face experience of a Jewish family’s struggle to live in hiding during Nazi occupation in Amsterdam. As you walk through the house you follow the diary notes of Anne, a teenager and her daily experience of this incredible situation. It consolidated my experiences at the Jewish Museum and Jewish Memorial in Berlin, and it made it all so gut-wrenchingly real. You near the end of the path through the house having developed real empathy for Anne and her family, emotions really build up, and I was on the breaking point of tears. What an awful, awful situation I kept thinking to myself, she’s only just a girl. Perhaps the thing that saved me from crying, apart from the pressure of being in public, was a little quote from Anne’s diary that was printed on a wall near the end ...
“I’ll make my voice heard. I’ll go out into the world and work for mankind.”
Knowing how famous and important her story has become in the time since WW2 and its atrocities, I could only respond by thinking: You have, even though you might not be here to see it.
Late morning I had a wonderful time visiting the Van Gogh Museum but again learning about Van Gogh’s mental instability added further complexity to the day. There was a small exhibition of Picasso’s work, tracing his first visit to Paris at 19 and the next five or so year, bringing him to the same age as myself, 24. This has added meaning as it was at the end of this period that he finally began to replace the poetic and symbolic qualities of his work with abstract and sculptural ones, which eventually lead to his exploration of cubism. The possibility that I could be at a similar turning point, although perhaps lesser, really excited me. This roller-coaster day could not be complete without the climax, walking through Vondel park this morning, enjoying warm Spring sun and listening to buskers play as everyone as was. I couldn’t help but and feeling as if this is the perfect place to look for landscape architecture work.
What a day ... this is Europe, this is travel, this is life.
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